If you have a meter, you can check the voltages and see if they are above the threshold of 13.8V (think it is 13.8V for the durite) and that will tell you if it should be on or off.
they are bi-directional, so either side above that voltage will enable it.
clicking on and off, if it were to do with connections, I would suspect the -ve/earth wire. that must be connected for relay to operate so if the voltages are high but the relay is clicking, it could be an -ve fault (poor connection, break in wire, etc).
the Durite relays are ok, but they do go wrong like any thing can. They are no different to just about any other VSR so I would just get whatever cheap one is around TBH. The HC Cargo (made by Bosch) ones are usually good value within ones with a recognised brand. (
https://amzn.to/3cSPpWA)
Oh, I always forget these VSRs have a little LED that comes in when active - is this coming on with the clicking? (I never fit these where I can see them so always forget)